A Moment of Melancholy

Yesterday evening, while walking back to my apartment from the grocery store, I had a moment of melancholy.  It unexpectedly swept over me like a wave. I couldn’t even think of any particular trigger.  Was I lonely?   Was I scared?   Mad about something?  Was it the holidays?  Uhmmmm….yes, maybe, why not and I don’t really know.

 

I was about to investigate what I was feeling.

Although it was the first day of winter, there was a wonderful, tropical-like breeze that pulled me away from my “deep” analysis.  If it weren’t for the cement underneath my feet and the high rise buildings around me, I could have been walking along a beach during the summer.  

Then, I looked up at the holiday lights outlining the windows of the apartments high above.  I especially like the lights that are supposed to be the shape of a tree or a symbol. I can imagine the inhabitants getting to a point of frustration and deciding that this will have to do.  Or, maybe this is exactly what they intended.  Either way, I was amused.  It was nice to see the lights regardless of the execution or intention.

I had forgotten about my melancholy and my analysis.

   

Then, I thought to myself, I bet there are at least a few million people in the world alive today that wished they could have the freedom to be walking safely from the grocery store back to their home.  If only they could walk around in a nice neighborhood looking up at lights in the window and feeling a tropical breeze.  They wished they could go into a grocery store and wander up and down the aisles trying to figure out what to purchase because there are so many options.  Many wished to have the physical ability and health to simply walk around, others a brain functioning well enough to consider options, and some the emotional health capable of self-reflection. 

I ditched the melancholy altogether.

I looked up and realized that a little girl was coming my way.  She was a few steps ahead of her dad.  She was happy and her steps were more like a march.  Her dad was not happy and seemed to be dragged down by life and caught up in some drama he was relaying on his cell.  I looked at the little girl and I could imagine her saying, Look at me walking all by myself!  I think she spotted me a ways back because when I looked up her eyes were already locked into mine.   She would not be denied.   I smiled back at her and gave her an exuberant Well…hello!  She smiled back and marched onward. 

That’s it.  Smile and march onward.