Summer Reading- How I Became a Famous Novelist by Steve Hely

Summer is for reading and summer is a time to be carefree.  So, I tend to keep my reading light.  I stay away from most non-fiction; especially anything geared towards self-improvement or serious biographies.  Maybe that’s why I was drawn to “How I Became a Famous Novelist” by Steve Hely. While wandering the aisles of the Mount Pleasant Library, I noticed a bright yellow book on one of the shelves.  On the cover was a tornado and white pieces of paper strewn about.  Something about the cover design, including a title in red and blue font, seemed contradictory, humorous; even juvenile.   I wondered what the book was really about.  After reading the back cover, I discovered that the book is a parody of the literary industry.

Standing in the library aisle, I read the first two pages.  The first was an excerpt from the “Tornado Ashes Club”, the book that the main character (Pete Tarslaw) writes that will make him famous.  This gives you a taste of Pete’s writing.  It’s horrendous and terribly hokey.  The second page begins with a great line “You have to understand how bad things were for me back then.”   I was intrigued by this simple line, hoping that this would provide insight into how someone writing so poorly could become a famous novelist.  So, I checked the book out.

When we first meet Pete, he is post-college and employed by a shady employer writing college entrance essays for wealthy kids.  He doesn’t seem to be motivated by much in life until he receives an invitation from his ex- girlfriend (Polly) to attend her wedding.  It is then that he decides to become a famous novelist so that he can show up at the wedding to make Polly feel as if she married the wrong guy.

Once Pete comes up with this brazen idea, he sits down and writes 4 goals for himself (in Pete’s words): fame, financial comfort, stately home by the ocean or scenic lake and humiliate Polly at her wedding.  Pete also comes up with 16 rules for writing his novel.  Here are a few:

• Abandon truth

• Write a popular book.  Do not waste energy on writing a good book.

• Include nothing from my own life.

• Must include a murder

• Give readers versions of themselves, infused with extra awesomeness.

• At dull points, include descriptions of delicious meals.

• Include plant names

• Must include a club, secrets/mysterious missions, shy characters whose lives are changed suddenly, surprising love affairs, women who’ve given up on love but turn out to be beautiful

Pete’s motivation for writing and his rules are blasphemous for those that view books and writing sacredly.   Even if you do, Hely will cause you to laugh about it.

Hely also intertwines other characters and story lines that keep the book moving along while we watch Pete write his novel.  Some that stand out are his roommate Hobart, his aunt Evelyn and employer John Sturgis.  There are outrageous encounters with famous authors and a movie producer.

In the end, Pete finishes the book and becomes a famous novelist.   He describes his pinball route to fame into 4 distinct stages.  One includes a famous actress swinging his book at paparazzi and the photo ends up on the cover of a magazine.  Later, as I personally hoped, Pete will crash and burn.  He attends Polly’s wedding and humiliates himself while in a drunken stupor.  

The book is a worthy read and jam-packed funny.  Sometimes I would laugh out loud or get the giggles while reading the book in public.  It’s obvious that Hely is a comedy writer.

No book is perfect.  At the beginning of most chapters, there are one page excerpts from fictional books, manuscripts, newspaper columns and email communications. This slowed me down as I tried to figure out how each tied into the next chapter. Mostly it demonstrated Hely’s impressive writing skills as he had to create all of these with a unique voice and writing style.  One such example that I loved was Hely’s recreation of the New York Times best sellers list that includes book titles such as “Cracked Like Teeth,” “They Play Red Rover in Heaven,” “Jockstraps Ain’t for Eating,” and “The Jane Austin Women’s Investigators.”

Another challenge with the book was the ending.  It was adequate but seemed abrupt or incomplete.   Midway through, I wondered how Hely would end the book. I liken it to being in the last season of a really good TV series like Mad Men, BoardWalk Empire or Six Feet Under.  I know there’s a good chance that I’m going to be disappointed.   It’s always hard to wrap up a really good thing.