In pursuit of the life we want

The leader of one of the creative groups (The StuckCreative) that I attend, always tells us to do something each day towards our creative work.  I’ve been going to this group for months and have yet to accomplish this.   I’ve concluded that this may be ideal but far from practical.

It would be great if we could devote all of our energy and time in pursuit of a particular goal.  Can you imagine if there was a program like The Biggest Loser where we could check out of our life and pursue our dreams full time? There would be a staff of experts and a coach standing by for support.  At the end of the day, you would fall into your lovely bed exhausted from pursuing this one desire all day long.  When you check in with your loved ones they would provide positive reinforcement and proclaim that your success in achieving this dream is a matter of life and death for you and your family.  There would be many happy tears to follow.

In reality, we are managing (to varying degrees) the life we have right now while working towards the life we hope to create.   And creating something new requires time and practice.  We do this in the midst of work, family and other responsibilities.  Of course there are benign unexpected things that happen that temporarily disrupt our lives like last summer when the air conditioning unit in my house in Atlanta decided to go on strike against the tenant.  There are also non-benign things that happen to us such as illness, or loss of a loved one or loss of a job.   We have no choice but to tend to these things.

To all of this, I say that we should continue on in pursuit of our goals and the life that we want.   Don't feel bad or disappointed if you can’t do this daily or even routinely.  Most often, achieving our goals is a lot like driving to work in traffic.  At some places we can move pretty fast and other times you just have to sit there and wait.    We always manage to get there but sometimes it takes a little longer.

Man Cannot Live by Lists Alone

A New Year…Four beautiful seasons begin.  These are not my words.  These words are from a six-pack of holiday cards by American Greetings.  I love the sentiment and the hope that these few words offer.

In the past, I take this time to reflect upon where I've been and where I want to go.  When I was younger, I used to write down a list of goals for the future.  To prove this point, I selected a journal from my box of journals to see if I could find any New Year resolutions, goals or lists.  The first journal I picked up included an entry from January 4, 2007 which concluded with a rudimentary handwritten chart:

2007

More	Less
Writing & Reading	TV
Healthy Behaviors	Fear
Understanding	Anger
Compassion	Sugar, Fried Foods
Financial Stability	Bullshit (internal & external)
Family Time
Meaningful Relationships
Fearless Living

Having lists to help us reach our goals can be helpful but we gotta keep these lists in check.  Keep lists in their place.  There have been times when my life felt like a series of lists that I kept constructing and destructing.   It feels good to cross things off of a long list.  Of course, I would then create a new one.  It is a way to move oneself around in the world and to feel deeply accomplished or like a friggin failure…all because of a stupid list.  Truly that’s a recipe for mania. 

Man cannot live by lists alone. 

As I said before, we just gotta keep lists in their place.  Lists are very helpful when I’m at work and have too much to do.  I need a little list to write down things that need to get done that day or within a short period of time.  Lists are also good for the grocery store.  Without a good list, I could end up with almost anything.  I've been collecting books by my numero uno main squeeze author James Baldwin.  I put the list of 5 books I currently own in the notes section of my phone.  Last week, I wandered into Second Story Books in Dupont Circle (Washington, DC) and found a Baldwin book.  I was so excited and headed to the cashier.  I remembered my list and was shocked it was already on there.  I couldn't believe that I had forgotten that I had this book when I just put this list in my phone less than a week ago.  So lists are also good for people like me who are a bit loopy.

Our lists are often based on our goals - but we also have to keep our goals in check.  Goals will change based on our needs, wants and state of mind.  Sometimes they are valid and sometimes they're not. I may have a goal that is based on a need.  Here’s an example that many can relate to.  There was a time when I had marriage on my list of goals.  Now, I desire meaningful relationships.  I figure that if marriage is really that important for my journey then all of the cosmic forces, Jesus, Buddha, Allah and everyone else will come together and make it happen.  I see no reason to expend my creative, spiritual, emotional and intelligent energy on trying to make something like that happen.  Fortunately, I live in a day and time where I have enough freedom and opportunities to do what I want without being legally hitched to someone.  I don’t need to be married.  However, I don’t think I could make it without the support of friends and family.  I need meaningful relationships.  Developing meaningful relationships has become a guiding principle for my life.  

So what does all of this mean for the new year?   It’s ok to have a list or two of things to accomplish to help you organize your life but they can’t be your life.   Try to have guiding principles by which to live your life and then put them in practice.  These can be simple things like to be more loving, compassionate or creative.  If you miss the mark you can just try again.  That’s the hope that comes with a new year.

Wishing you peace, blessings and all good things-  Karen