Pursue Your Interests

Pursue your interests. I think this is the answer to many of our questions — How can I get out of a rut? How can I meet new people? What shall I do with extra time on my hands? It’s even a good response to What shall I do with my life? Often, we are in search of more than income and career.

You don’t have to pursue your interests with a big payoff in mind. Some things should be done just for the joy of doing them. When my mother retired 23 years ago, her doctor said, “Now…you’re going to have to find something to do with yourself. You can’t just sit around the house and go crazy.” So, at the age of 60, my mother took her first quilting class. Over the years, she has made many quilts for herself, family members and friends. She even introduced me to quilting. I made a few quilts until I discovered that my fingers and temperament were more adept to writing than sewing. People would see her quilts and encourage her to sell them. “Rudell, you could start a little business for yourself!” She would look at them in contempt, as if they had taken away all her joy. Even today, Mom continues to quilt — working at her own pace, to her own satisfaction.

Don’t worry that your interests are so different from the work that you do or the persona that you have created. It’s not as if you need to make a grand announcement to the world about it. When I’m thinking of doing something new, I just keep it to myself. I don’t need anyone’s permission to experience a life different than the one I know.

Pursuing our interests can be an approach to life. It’s easy to stick with what we know and continue to live in these experiences. Trying something different will open us up to new experiences and opportunities.

Is there something that you have always wanted to do? Do it. There’s no age limit to self-discovery or joy.

One of Mom's quilts. December 2009.

A wall hanging Mom made for me.

Inscribed - Love Mom, February 14, 1996

Flower, Fleur, Flor

A stem, a petal

Simple elements.

Purple, yellow, pink

Brilliant in display.

The master impressionist at work.

Designing, demonstrating

Broad strokes of genius.

Sweet, pungent, tropical, soothing.

A whiff and a reflection;

Sweet memories.

A hope, a promise.

In celebration, sadness, just because.

Gathered together or in solitude.

Always timely.

In pursuit of the life we want

The leader of one of the creative groups (The StuckCreative) that I attend, always tells us to do something each day towards our creative work.  I’ve been going to this group for months and have yet to accomplish this.   I’ve concluded that this may be ideal but far from practical.

It would be great if we could devote all of our energy and time in pursuit of a particular goal.  Can you imagine if there was a program like The Biggest Loser where we could check out of our life and pursue our dreams full time? There would be a staff of experts and a coach standing by for support.  At the end of the day, you would fall into your lovely bed exhausted from pursuing this one desire all day long.  When you check in with your loved ones they would provide positive reinforcement and proclaim that your success in achieving this dream is a matter of life and death for you and your family.  There would be many happy tears to follow.

In reality, we are managing (to varying degrees) the life we have right now while working towards the life we hope to create.   And creating something new requires time and practice.  We do this in the midst of work, family and other responsibilities.  Of course there are benign unexpected things that happen that temporarily disrupt our lives like last summer when the air conditioning unit in my house in Atlanta decided to go on strike against the tenant.  There are also non-benign things that happen to us such as illness, or loss of a loved one or loss of a job.   We have no choice but to tend to these things.

To all of this, I say that we should continue on in pursuit of our goals and the life that we want.   Don't feel bad or disappointed if you can’t do this daily or even routinely.  Most often, achieving our goals is a lot like driving to work in traffic.  At some places we can move pretty fast and other times you just have to sit there and wait.    We always manage to get there but sometimes it takes a little longer.