Ahh...Another Writing Group

A few nights ago, I visited another writing group - The Washington Creative Writers Club.  I found them through Meetup.com.   About 25 members attend on a weekly basis and almost everyone is working on fiction.   They break into smaller groups where individuals read their writing and then receive critique.

Not knowing anyone in the group and this being my first visit, I had not intended on sharing my work.  I thought I would sit back and observe. However, I still brought copies of my blog post A Moment of Melancholy.   I know enough about Karen to realize that Karen just might change her mind.  I wasn’t interested in reading my work out loud as I had not rehearsed my reading voice.  Ok, I was scared.  I even inquired about letting others just read it and provide critique.  Joe, leading our group, said he would explain that later at the end of the meeting and that he would put me down to read second.  Joe is a force so I complied.

I read my work and felt like I was sitting naked on a stage somewhere in Times Square.  I did not die.  In fact, I received very constructive and thoughtful feedback.  One suggestion was to be more economical with my words if I am going to do short essays (500 words or less).   Here's an example from my melancholy post:  I said, I looked up and realized that a little girl was coming my way.  I could say, A little girl was coming my way.  Another thought was to add a final paragraph to tie everything together.   I questioned whether or not I should tell the reader exactly what they should take away from my work.   They didn't see it that way.  There was a comment about the piece not really being about melancholy although it’s in the title and mentioned a few times.  In fact, Joe the force, briefly and eloquently expressed what the piece was really about and I was impressed. All I could do was nod as I realized that these might be my people.

The Washington Creative Writers Club is not for everybody.   I was told that they have a lot of one-timers. The individuals that I encountered were pretty intellectual and about business.   It’s about the work and not your feelings, who you think you are or who you want to be.   In my group, I was surrounded by solid writers.  I’ve been to other writing groups where people do not have basic writing skills.  I see this everywhere including professional settings.  This may be more of a reflection of our educational system than anything else.

After the meeting, a number of people came up to me and encouraged me to come back.  They hoped I wasn’t scared away. Several members went over to the Cheesecake Factory afterwards.  I went along.   I didn’t come to DC to become a hermit.  In fact, this is exactly why I moved to DC – to have new experiences and meet new people.  This may require that I leave my apartment.   I got home sometime after 11 pm.  The next day I went to work to earn my daily bread, tired but happy.

Man Cannot Live by Lists Alone

A New Year…Four beautiful seasons begin.  These are not my words.  These words are from a six-pack of holiday cards by American Greetings.  I love the sentiment and the hope that these few words offer.

In the past, I take this time to reflect upon where I've been and where I want to go.  When I was younger, I used to write down a list of goals for the future.  To prove this point, I selected a journal from my box of journals to see if I could find any New Year resolutions, goals or lists.  The first journal I picked up included an entry from January 4, 2007 which concluded with a rudimentary handwritten chart:

2007

More	Less
Writing & Reading	TV
Healthy Behaviors	Fear
Understanding	Anger
Compassion	Sugar, Fried Foods
Financial Stability	Bullshit (internal & external)
Family Time
Meaningful Relationships
Fearless Living

Having lists to help us reach our goals can be helpful but we gotta keep these lists in check.  Keep lists in their place.  There have been times when my life felt like a series of lists that I kept constructing and destructing.   It feels good to cross things off of a long list.  Of course, I would then create a new one.  It is a way to move oneself around in the world and to feel deeply accomplished or like a friggin failure…all because of a stupid list.  Truly that’s a recipe for mania. 

Man cannot live by lists alone. 

As I said before, we just gotta keep lists in their place.  Lists are very helpful when I’m at work and have too much to do.  I need a little list to write down things that need to get done that day or within a short period of time.  Lists are also good for the grocery store.  Without a good list, I could end up with almost anything.  I've been collecting books by my numero uno main squeeze author James Baldwin.  I put the list of 5 books I currently own in the notes section of my phone.  Last week, I wandered into Second Story Books in Dupont Circle (Washington, DC) and found a Baldwin book.  I was so excited and headed to the cashier.  I remembered my list and was shocked it was already on there.  I couldn't believe that I had forgotten that I had this book when I just put this list in my phone less than a week ago.  So lists are also good for people like me who are a bit loopy.

Our lists are often based on our goals - but we also have to keep our goals in check.  Goals will change based on our needs, wants and state of mind.  Sometimes they are valid and sometimes they're not. I may have a goal that is based on a need.  Here’s an example that many can relate to.  There was a time when I had marriage on my list of goals.  Now, I desire meaningful relationships.  I figure that if marriage is really that important for my journey then all of the cosmic forces, Jesus, Buddha, Allah and everyone else will come together and make it happen.  I see no reason to expend my creative, spiritual, emotional and intelligent energy on trying to make something like that happen.  Fortunately, I live in a day and time where I have enough freedom and opportunities to do what I want without being legally hitched to someone.  I don’t need to be married.  However, I don’t think I could make it without the support of friends and family.  I need meaningful relationships.  Developing meaningful relationships has become a guiding principle for my life.  

So what does all of this mean for the new year?   It’s ok to have a list or two of things to accomplish to help you organize your life but they can’t be your life.   Try to have guiding principles by which to live your life and then put them in practice.  These can be simple things like to be more loving, compassionate or creative.  If you miss the mark you can just try again.  That’s the hope that comes with a new year.

Wishing you peace, blessings and all good things-  Karen

A Moment of Melancholy

Yesterday evening, while walking back to my apartment from the grocery store, I had a moment of melancholy.  It unexpectedly swept over me like a wave. I couldn’t even think of any particular trigger.  Was I lonely?   Was I scared?   Mad about something?  Was it the holidays?  Uhmmmm….yes, maybe, why not and I don’t really know.

 

I was about to investigate what I was feeling.

Although it was the first day of winter, there was a wonderful, tropical-like breeze that pulled me away from my “deep” analysis.  If it weren’t for the cement underneath my feet and the high rise buildings around me, I could have been walking along a beach during the summer.  

Then, I looked up at the holiday lights outlining the windows of the apartments high above.  I especially like the lights that are supposed to be the shape of a tree or a symbol. I can imagine the inhabitants getting to a point of frustration and deciding that this will have to do.  Or, maybe this is exactly what they intended.  Either way, I was amused.  It was nice to see the lights regardless of the execution or intention.

I had forgotten about my melancholy and my analysis.

   

Then, I thought to myself, I bet there are at least a few million people in the world alive today that wished they could have the freedom to be walking safely from the grocery store back to their home.  If only they could walk around in a nice neighborhood looking up at lights in the window and feeling a tropical breeze.  They wished they could go into a grocery store and wander up and down the aisles trying to figure out what to purchase because there are so many options.  Many wished to have the physical ability and health to simply walk around, others a brain functioning well enough to consider options, and some the emotional health capable of self-reflection. 

I ditched the melancholy altogether.

I looked up and realized that a little girl was coming my way.  She was a few steps ahead of her dad.  She was happy and her steps were more like a march.  Her dad was not happy and seemed to be dragged down by life and caught up in some drama he was relaying on his cell.  I looked at the little girl and I could imagine her saying, Look at me walking all by myself!  I think she spotted me a ways back because when I looked up her eyes were already locked into mine.   She would not be denied.   I smiled back at her and gave her an exuberant Well…hello!  She smiled back and marched onward. 

That’s it.  Smile and march onward.

Latest Reads

All fiction is true.  I read that somewhere.  I wanted to attribute that to Chinua Achebe but when I did a quick internet search I couldn’t find it.  I really held my quick search to about 15 minutes.  I’ve tried “quick” searches before in an effort to find material to support my writing only to emerge a couple of hours later with absolutely nothing. Along the way I would find myself about to purchase shoes online, listening to music and then to facebook and somehow I find myself on a website about people that look like their pets.   

So forget Chinua Achebe and what he might have said.  Instead, I found this quote by Emerson which was on brainyquote.com: Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.

I thought about this as I finished my latest read The Coldest Winter Ever by Sister Souljah.  I had mentioned in a previous post that I discovered that I could get in a lot of reading while riding the metro to and from work.  I was able to get through this book in three weeks.  Sister Souljah really took me on a wild ride with this fictional tale although I believe that all of these characters are recreated from her experiences. These characters live in some form in everyone.  To see it, most would have to get past the obvious - a black, drug dealing family in Brooklyn.   You can go to work every day and encounter people who are schemers and do not hesitate to stomp out other people for their own advancement.  Let’s not forget all of the functional alcoholics and those with drug problems in the workplace.  Our experiences may just be more sanitized and politically correct.

I was very impressed with the book because of the development of the characters.  Souljah provided a lot of different angles to consider regarding these characters.  The characters were multidimensional and had depth which isn’t how black characters are often portrayed.  She handled them sympathetically. 

Prior to this, I had read Amy Tan’s book The Opposite of Faith which is about her writing life.   It was interesting reading a work of fiction following a book about a writer of fiction.  In Tan’s book I read about her writing process.  In Souljah’s book, I often thought about her writing process and the choices that she made in her storytelling.  I think this was also her first work of fiction so I gotta give the sistah a break and hey, it was a national best seller.  But I wonder about choices made in writing in almost everything that I read.  I think that most people are this way.

For my next read, instead of purchasing something new, I think that I will go to my bookshelf and pull out something that has been waiting to be read.  I’m contemplating picking up ‘Tis again by Frank McCourt. ‘Tis is a memoir about his life in the U.S.   I read some of it many years ago.  It did not grab me like Angela’s Ashes which was about McCourt’s life in Ireland.  That’s kinda unfair to expect the same thing again when it is a different book.   I’m sure that he was a different person when he was writing it.    I find McCourt fascinating because he didn’t write Angela’s Ashes until after he had retired from 30 years of teaching.  Anyone worried about their dreams deferred can look to McCourt for inspiration.

An Uninvited Guest

For several months, I’ve been working on revamping a draft manuscript that I completed about 10 years ago.  It’s called Bits of Wisdom for the Real World because Life Doesn’t Come with Instructions.   I’ve been told that the title is very long.  Uhhhh….this I know.  The title may change.   As of now, it captures the overall theme of the manuscript.  I use the term theme because it is very hard for me to describe exactly what it is in a sentence or two. 

I would say that it is more of a perspective of how to approach life that goes beyond tips.  For example, I’m currently working on a chapter about the work environment.  Everyone knows that they are going to encounter challenges at work.  A tip would be to follow office policies and procedures when presented with a problem at work like communicating your concerns to your manager.   While following policies and procedures, there is also a perspective that we can have to make the most of the experience.  We can be more than a victim when experiencing unfair treatment at work.  We don’t have to be stuck at the place of describing what happened to us over and over again with no real resolve.  Regardless of the outcome, the experience can teach us many things, cause us to grow, and strengthen us in ways we could not imagine or design on our own. 

I had this mid-February date for completion of the final draft.  I’ve scrapped that date and have not set a new one.  Sometimes we think that if we set a date that it will cause things to be completed by that date.   Deadlines are important.  However, I realized that for me it will be done when it is done.  My goal is to continue to work on it.  Just keep at it, as they say.  I needed to set a new goal that wasn't so intimidating or consuming. 

What I did not expect was that another manuscript, a compilation of essays, would begin to emerge once I decided to pick up Bits of Wisdom.  I found this to be quite disturbing.  I prefer order, process and structure.  I don’t like a whole lot of shenanigans.  In my mind, you don’t start something new without completing something else - especially when performing the same function.  I’m committed to writing so it made sense for me to just focus on one manuscript at a time.   Not to mention, I’m also blogging and I'm not just going to post any ole thing.  In summary, I didn’t need another writing project – especially one that was uninvited.  So, initially I rejected this other project that kept surfacing.  I just assumed that the only reason that this other stuff kept showing up was to distract me away from Bits of Wisdom. 

Then I decided to open the door and welcome the intruder.  She was knocking and making so much noise that I wasn't making much progress on Bits of Wisdom.    I say she because we women can be  so persistent and strong and known to keep up a fuss until we get what we want.  I realized that she wasn't going anywhere so when she appeared, I decided to take the time to write down what she has to say.   Because of the advancements in technology, there are places for me to post all of my creative work.  I mostly post my work on my blog and also on wattpad.   Wattpad is an online community of writers where I can post my work and receive feedback while it is in development.  I have 2 works on Wattpad, Bits of Wisdom and Book of Essays.  I couldn't think of a title for the collection of essays so I oh-so-cleverly called it Book of Essays.   So not only has she been welcomed but she has her own friggin room.  Once I gave in to her, miraculously, I’ve been able to continue my work on Bits of Wisdom.   This, I cannot explain. 

Time to Read

Of course I believe that everyone should read.  I enjoy television but books stretch your mind more. Unlike TV, books don’t tell you every doggone thing to think or feel by way of sound and visual effects. There is also the liberal use and reliance on stereotypes.   With a book, your mind has more work to do in terms of experiencing the characters, the scenes and filling in the blanks.  Long after I have finished a book, I continue to wonder about the characters and what happened to them.

I am always challenged with finding the time to read.  I’m a busy lady.  I guess I could find a way to un-busy myself.  When I was much younger, I would read a lot at night while in bed.  As a child, I read throughout the summer.  But now, reading at night just puts me to sleep and as an adult there really isn’t any difference from one season to the next since I don’t get summers off.   

I am amused that I can write at night but I can’t seem to read at night.  I’m pretty sure you have to be able to read in order to write. 

Not too long ago I had a not-so-deep revelation.  I discovered that I could get in some solid reading time during my bus ride to work.  I’ve been riding the metro to work for about a year now.   I would sit on the bus watching other people read.  A few times, I brought parts of the Sunday Washington Post to read.  You can imagine that could be annoying to me and to others.   Even with my long arms, constantly opening and folding and not trying to elbow anyone was a challenge.  And who really wants to listen to a noisy paper being opened and folded repeatedly at 7 am in a crowded, enclosed space?   Although a presumed natural progression, this did not lead me to try to read a book.

Nope.  Instead, I would allow my idle mind to wander here and there.  And just like Ma said, an idle mind is the workshop of the devil.  I wondered why the lady in front of me would choose a wig that appeared to be a bird’s nest on her head.   Other times I would replay a recent experience that left me angry, sad or feeling diminished in some way.  I needed to give my mind something constructive to do.   

Then one day, on my way out the door, I grabbed Amy Tan’s The Opposite of Fate.  I had picked up and put down this book so many times over the last few years.  Just last week I finally finished it.  The book is about her life and her creative process.  She seems to be coming from an honest place.  I learned a lot from it and it will help you to see that you can get your creative work done in spite of life happening to you and in spite of yourself. 

I like to follow non-fiction with fiction.  So I picked up The Coldest Winter Ever by Sister Souljah.  I had been hearing about this book for years.  She is taking me on a wild ride that I love.  She is quite clever and I can’t contain my amusement.  That’s one great thing about riding the metro; nothing really seems to be that odd.  It’s perfectly acceptable for me to periodically laugh out loud.   

People We Meet

Workshops are always a great place to meet new people.  It’s especially cool to meet people with whom you share common interests.  During the Publish Now workshop, I met several people.  Two were sitting directly behind me during the afternoon sessions.  When the moderator released us, he said, Be back in 15 minutes, but what they must have heard was, Ready, set, go…complain! 

I un-serendipitously "met" them when I made the mistake of turning around to get a look at these tortured souls.  Of course, when I did they locked me into their trance and talked to me as if I had already been a part of the conversation.  The man and woman continued their rundown of everything they didn’t like about the workshop.  They were so in sync with their complaining that I wrongly assumed that they were a couple.  When one paused the other began, quite effortlessly.   

For some reason, I was more amused than annoyed by them.  Maybe it was because I was having such a fabulous time.   Their primary complaint was that the workshop should have only focused on specific steps to getting published.  They approved of topics such as the legal aspects of publishing, marketing techniques or considering whether or not one should self-publish vs traditional publishing.  They were greatly displeased about the breakout sessions focused on genres such as fiction writing, memoirs and photography.  The last speaker before the break focused on the importance of content and determining whether or not you are really ready to publish.  She is an author and an editor.   She once told a writer that there were only 10 good pages that should be kept out of the 80 page document that had been written.  To that, the man said, What does that have to do with getting published?  I'm thinking it had everything to do with publishing but I smiled anyway.  Then the lady strangely followed up with Yeah, and they assume that everyone here is a writer!  Not everyone wants to write a book.    I guess she didn’t read the first sentence of the promo for the workshop: Our popular annual seminar provides writers with the information they need to publish their work in print or e-book format in today's changing digital landscape. 

At some point, I broke in and said to the lady, Oh, so what are you working on and what are you trying to do?   I was really expecting a passionate and elaborate description of a completed work that she had been desperately trying to get out to change the world.  Instead, she said that she wasn’t sure.  A while ago she started a blog and posted 6 times but then she got busy trying to help her husband with his business so she hasn’t been able to get back to it. 

Wow.